HR Lies: Anticipate the Gaslighting!

5 Tips to Protect Yourself

I have a client right now being gaslit by HR. I’ve seen too many times and it goes something like this:

You complain about abusive behavior, even something downright illegal, maybe during a routine “check-in” with HR. It wasn’t formal, but it was real. You spoke up. You were honest.

Now? HR is pretending the conversation never happened. This is not a mistake, HR is not misremembering. This is a tactic. Classic gaslighting.

💡 HR loves meetings because meetings leave no record. 💡
They don’t want things in writing. They do want to manage you, contain you, shut you up. Don’t let them.

If you’re in an abusive workplace, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. You’re not doing this because you expect HR to fix anything (they won’t), but because your lawyer will need a record later. Here’s how to protect yourself:

📌 1. Complain in Writing. Always.

Email HR instead of requesting a meeting. If they insist on a meeting, follow up immediately with an email: “Per our conversation today, we discussed [summarize the complaint]. Please confirm receipt.” (It's OK if they don't confirm it.)

📌 2. Keep Your Own Copies.

HR may delete emails, restrict access, or even change records. Save copies securely outside of your work system.

📌 3. Screenshots Are Your Best Friend.

Harassing messages? Screenshot them. Changes to policies or expectations? Screenshot them. Any shady behavior? Screenshot it all.

📌 4. Send Receipts.

If you have past messages, meeting notes, or witness accounts, attach them. Be concise and factual: “As you can see in the attached, this issue has been ongoing since [date].”

📌 5. Assume You Are Being Set Up.

The moment you make a complaint, HR may start building a case against you. This is when the smear campaign kicks in. More on that later. Protect yourself by keeping detailed, dated notes of interactions.

🚨 Bottom Line: Anticipate HR's gaslighting, get it in writing!

The record you build now could be what saves you later. Also in some states such as California, the law requires that HR investigate certain complaints. If they don't, point in your favor. But you have to prove they knew about it!

If you’re dealing with a abusive workplace, I see you, I believe you, and I can help.

Need services? https://www.michelersimon.com/legal