Dear White Women: Use Your Privilege to Speak Up and Oppose Sexism

In the wake of serious allegations of sexual abuse at the Natural Products Expo, the industry’s largest trade show, I have been writing about how these incidents are part of a much more deeply entrenched problem. As the industry has moved from niche to mainstream, aggressive (mostly) white male led investors have swooped in to take over.

Similarly, the vegan movement has been taken over by a small band of white men who want to control everything: the funding, the strategies, and the organizations.

A series of interactions with other women recently have me thinking about how women bear some responsibility for speaking out about these challenges. Too many women are not sharing their own experiences about how the natural foods industry and vegan movement are harmful to all women.

I understand there can be legal constraints, and that retaliation is real. But how will anything change unless we tell our stories? While I appreciate hearing many of the hardships one-on-one, it’s problematic when women won’t share them publicly.

It’s important to tell our stories because that’s how society begins to recognize patterns of systemic abuses. Otherwise, women are suffering in silence and the few stories that do come out are easily dismissed as aberrations when they are in fact emblematic of deeper sexism. If women remain silent, we give credence to the lie that women are succeeding, allowing the tokenism of a few women in leadership roles to suffice and pretending that all is well.

This message is aimed especially at mid- to later- career white women. I understand that ageism is also a problem but if younger women are scared, and older women are scared, what is the exact age when we are not scared? There seems to be no safe age to speak up.

I also understand that many Black women, and other women of color may be afraid to speak out because they have more to lose in a workplace dominated by white people. All the more reason white women must step up: our privilege demands it.

I know that my privilege allows me to speak out. I am turning 57 this week and am at the stage where I just don’t care what people think of me anymore. If speaking my truth means I won’t get work, then we were not meant to work together. I am done staying silent. Staying silent did not protect me. In fact, it made things worse. So, what exactly are we protecting by not speaking our truths?

So here is just some of my story, with more to come.

Over the course of my 25+ year career, I have experienced numerous forms of sexism, from having my opinions devalued, to being unfairly judged for my strong personality, to being passed over, marginalized, and harshly criticized simply for having unpopular opinions. These may sound like “micro-aggressions” (a phrase I dislike) but over time they add up.

I also have been on the receiving end of a vicious smear campaign that I hope to be able to talk more about someday. I don’t even know all the details because it mostly happened behind my back, but I know this much: certain men didn’t like me and said damaging things about me. And other men in power believed their lies. Still other men knew this was happening but did not bother to tell me until it was too late. A few women also participated. The aftermath left me traumatized and in a lot of pain.

Almost every other woman I speak with shares similar stories, sometimes even at the hands of the same men. When I ask them to tell their stories publicly, most decline. Women tell me they fear losing their jobs, or losing clients, if they have their own business. These women have said things to me like, “I wish I could be as brave as you”. I don’t take this as a compliment. I take it as abandonment, of me and of all women. Plus, it’s really lonely out here and when women make excuses, I feel even more alone. And the pain endures.

White women who remain silent are choosing to live in fear. You are choosing comfort over truth. Your silence means other women continue to suffer.

Through white women’s silence, men are enabled to keep abusing more women, especially younger women and women of color. If even white women can be harassed, discriminated against, and otherwise abused in the workplace, imagine how much worse things are for women of color? I am calling on white women in the vegan movement and natural foods industry to help stop the cycle of abuse.

A few white women have even asked that I don’t tag them on LinkedIn on posts about sexism as if this somehow implicates them. How does being tagged hurt you? If I get tagged on a post that I don’t agree with, I just go on with my day. Some women say they don’t want to be seen as a “victim”; this is the shame that many women carry. We must get over this shame in order to have each other’s backs.

Even if you don’t have your own experiences of abuse or bias to share or cannot share due to legal constraints, it’s important to support other women when they need support, and in general. This means speaking up wherever you see injustices, especially against Black women and other marginalized groups.

To quote Desmond Tutu: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”

And next time you will likely be the mouse. You may already be and not realize it.

Want to work with me to reduce sexism in the workplace? Need help leaving your job? Contact me here.